The mystique by the lake

All you worry-warts out there will be glad to know that I have arrived home safe and sound in Cleveland. I suppose even if you aren't a worrier but you weren't wishing death upon me, then you too might be glad to hear that my trip home was of the crash-free variety. The title of this post is the latest and most likely only step in my half-hearted effort to boost Cleveland's national image. Some people refer to my hometown city as the mistake by the lake (Erie, that is). But I'm here to tell you that there's all sorts of intrigue in this thriving metropolis. For example, Cleveland boasts highway 490- the shortest highway in the country. You'd have to drive her to believe her people. We're talking short. I'm not big on segues. Neither is comedian Jerry Seinfeld. But speaking of Seinfeld, the first three seasons of his hit television series were released today on DVD. I think I speak on behalf of all Seinfeld fans when I say "Finally!" We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. For far too long we have had to sustain ourselves on a mere seven daily syndicated episodes. No more. Now, if I want to watch the soup nazi episode for the 24th, 25th and 26th times, I don't have to wait three weeks for TBS, and the local network syndicators to get their acts together. With two clicks of the remote I can knock them out in 66 minutes flat. Somebody upstairs has been listening to a certain somebody else's desperate prayers and I think a sincere thank you is in order here. So thanks, Lord. I don't want to turn any readers off by exposing my religious side, but when prayers are answered I think thanks are due. And with that bit of tough talk, I'm going to go down to my kitchen and talk to my mom and sister. By the way, am I the only person who feels like a bad ass grammar-rebel everytime they start a sentence with But or And? What's up conventional grammatical wisdom I was taught in elementary school? I'm flying in your face motherfucker! I'm outty like people's bellybuttons that make me laugh.