Recap-tion Show

Last night's Rejection show was something else. (I think it's odd that the expression something else has grown to have such a "wild" connotation. It doesn't make much sense. Something else as opposed to what? I don't understand. It just means an alternative. I shouldn't use expressions I don't get.) A capacity crowd witnessed a powerhouse of a show. Jon Friedman slow dancing with a Polar Bear and Patrick Borelli's rejected Letterman Top 10 list of signs you've definitely committed involuntary vehicular manslaughter in the state of Massachusetts were two of the many highlights of the show.

As for my segment I shared some Valentine's Day cards that I hope to market (we're not doing a show in February and I wanted to be the first comedian in the tri-state area to do a Valentine's day bit in 2005.) I made six cards, two each for three categories of people: those in the very beginning stages of a relationship, those in a serious relationship, and kids in elementary school who pass out Valentines to all of their classmates. For each category I brought up a volunteer from the audience and asked them to choose which of the two cards they thought stood the best chance of selling. Miraculously, when it came to the elementary school cards an adorable sixth grader, Finn Shanahan, son of New Yorker cartoonist and rejection show participant Danny Shanahan, volunteered. Finn is probably the first kid ever to attend a rejection show. I couldn't have scripted things more perfectly. The final card I presented was designed as a response to the card a kid might receive from the girl in his class he likes. The front of the card reads: "Will I Be Your Valentine?" Then on the inside it reads: "Maybe if you hadn't asked every other boy in the class. I'm not into whores." Needless to say Finn liked the card. I apologized to his parents in advance for the phone call from the principal they're sure to receive February 14th after Finn gives the card to some innocent 12 year-old girl. Finn stole the show yet again at the end when Jon Friedman asked if any audience members wanted to come on stage and slow dance with the Polar Bear. Finn nuzzled up to the bear and looked like he'd never been more content. Watch out for Finn Shanahan world.

NPR recorded the show and interviewed us afterwards. That's cool, huh? I'll be sure to alert you as to when that piece is going to air-probably not for a couple of weeks though.

I'm back at it again tonight at 9pm at the Telephone bar. Here's that link again: http://localcomedian.com/tbar/index.html

Imagine if this performing business actually provided me with a livable income. That would be something else.

Do you think dogs are self-conscious about the fact that when they get wet they wreak? That could be kind of tough. Wet-dog is an awful smell that people talk about. Imagine if unless you used tons of soap, getting wet made you stink horribly. I bet if you could translate barks one of the things dogs say a lot is: "how about a rain jacket for me so when it's raining out I don't have to smell like shit? A poncho would also suffice." Actually, judging from the frequency with which dogs sniff asses and lick their own genitals, perhaps their sense of a pleasing scent is somewhat different than ours. Their willingness to eat their own vomit lends further credence to this theory. Could dogs and humans have inverse senses of smell? Does fabric softener to a dog smell like morning breath? Pine needles like sweaty socks? I think I've got a groundbreaking experiment on my hands here.

It's my friend Adam Grossman's birthday today. It was my cousin Kevin's yesterday. Happy birthday to the both of ya's!

Point of clarification: the aforementioned polar bear from the rejection show was a man dressed in a big polar bear costume.

Later.