Magnetic Strip Tease

I think ATM's have been around long enough that the diagrams that instruct you as to how you are supposed to swipe your card through should be less confusing. Can't they all be uniform? You should never have to do an upside down backhand swipe that's only a fluid motion for a handful of expert ultimate frisbee players. I realize that the slot option presents the danger of you forgetting your card and having it swallowed by the machine, but I'd rather have that happen than suffer the humiliation of feebly swiping again and again like a luggage toting midwestern tourist trying to pass through the New York subway turnstile.

I'm going to pace nervously for a couple of hours now so that tonight at my show I can appear to be at ease. If you want to see if I'm able to conceal my anxiety or you just want to see a group of very talented comedians and me, here is the info: www.eatingit.com

The least you can do is factor the content of people's character into your judgments of them today.