Taking the Ember out of Remember

Nothing makes the unemployed man feel better than inking up that monthly rent check. As a general rule, do landlords frown upon I.O.U's? Don't freak out mom and dad, I'm just kidding...for now-stay tuned though. Yesterday was the final day of November, which reminds me that 30 days hath November. Am I the only one who has a tough time memorizing that little rhyme that tells you how many days each month has? You'd think the rhyming aspect ought to help you out, but I always get tripped up on the months ending in ember and the one-syllable months. 30 days hath December, April, May and September. All the rest have 31, except for February, which has its own issues. See, that fits the rhythm and it rhymes, but it's not right. Then other people try to teach you the months by telling you to make two fists, put them together and then look at your knuckles. Whichever knuckles have bumps represent months with 30 days and the knuckles that aren't raised up are 31 day months or vice versa. I can't even explain it because it's way too complicated. Does anybody have the slightest idea of the system I'm referring to? Well it's fucking confusing as hell and I think it should be abolished. How tough is it to get your hands on a calendar, anyway? We don't need these headache inducing "tricks" to figure out this useless information. I hate you Gregorian calendar.

I just shaved off my beard but left a goatee. It's amazing, an hour ago I could trust myself, but now when I look at myself in the mirror I shake my head skeptically thinking that this sleazeball (me) must be up to no good. I guess I'll know whether I'm pulling it off or not in a couple of hours when I stop by my girlfriend's apartment. Either she'll be all about it or she'll peer out of the crack of her chain-locked door, slip a razor out and insist that one of us has got to go.

If you guys are bored when you get home and you have the game show network I encourage you to watch Family Feud muted and try to guess the question based on the answers revealed. Here is a sample of how it might go. It's a real roller coaster ride.

#5 answer revealed on the board: Bacon

My Guess: something that people eat for brunch

#3 answer: Hockey

My Guess: something that is either played on ice or fried in a skillet

#2: Ottawa

Guess: Canadian things

That was made up, far-fetched and dumb, but if you really do it, it can be all sorts of fun. Make sure that you un-mute the tv before they move on to the next question though or else that uncertainty of the previous question might keep you up at night. Two more days until the weekend, or as I like to call it, the two days of leisure time and fun that other people have earned that I have not. Later.