Coming with Baggage

I read in a friend's blog that he recently experienced some luggage retrieval difficulties. When my cousin Alex flew to Cleveland over Thanksgiving she too suffered a baggage delay. Luckily the airline she traveled had a policy in place to deal with her missing luggage predicament. They assured her that they would get the luggage to her within 24 hours. The way they phrased it though it was as if it was a pizza delivery policy. They kept repeating that they had until 2pm to get the bags to her. My question is: or else what? If they don't get your bags to you within the 24 hour period do you then get your bags that you already own, that they've lost for free? Wow. What an incredible reward for their tardiness/negligence. I can't imagine that policy comforts lost baggage owners as much as it confuses or concerns them. Perhaps if they can't get you your bags in time you don’t get your bags at all? Do they call and apologize. "I'm sorry Alex, we just couldn't live up to our word and we're entirely too shamed to bring you your bags now. This won't happen again."

An undermanned Exree Hipp team (there were but five of us) dropped a tough one last night to the Mystery Machine. I complained vehemently after two of the personal foul calls on me that were clearly clean blocked shots. After the game I ran into a player on the other team whom I had blocked on one of those two "fouls" and asked him if it had been a clean block. Luckily, he admitted that it had been. If I had been him, even if I knew it had been a clean block, I would have said "no, I think the ref made the right call" just to be a complete dick and not vindicate that little cry baby (me). But that’s just me- a hypothetical dick and an actual cry baby.

I found a crumpled piece of paper in the pocket of some shorts that I apparently wore during a rejection show many months ago. On it I saw a list of rejected movie sequels that I had made up. They were all along the lines of Sister Act 2: Back in The Habit, or Speed 2: Cruise Control. I'll share some of them if you'd like...you're just saying that. No, it's fine. I don't care, they're not that funny anyway...alright, alright, I'll do it.

Cast Away 2: Indescribably Terrible Luck

Uncle Buck 2: Why does Uncle Buck's house smell like rotting flesh?

(as long as I'm kicking a man while he's down...six feet)

Cool Runnings 2: It's not like Coach to be so late, mon

Ferris Bueller's Second Consecutive Day Off: Ironically, all that running around actually got Ferris sick

Shawshenk Redemption 2: In hindsight, we should have gotten that boating permit

Forrest Gump 2: Still Retarded

How bout you guys, you got any movie sequels you'd like to see?

My cousin Kevin thinks it's unnecessary in the Jeep Cherokee commercial in which somebody drives a jeep into an active volcano and gets blasted out with the jeep remaining unscathed that it says in fine print "do not attempt." I'm inclined to agree. Actually I think it should say in bold print: If you attempt this we hope you enjoy the molten lava as it envelops your body and instantly burns your flesh off!

Have a wild and wacky Wednesday.