Résumé Dismay

I just completed one of the more frustrating experiences in recent memory. The frustration factor was only compounded by the fact that I'm positive there was a much easier way to do what I did, but I didn't know it. I just sent my resume to somebody but in the job post it asked to include the resume embedded within the email rather than as an attachment. Well, it just so happens that my résumé’s margins don't exactly coincide with the margins in a yahoo mail textbox. Therefore I couldn't just paste my resume as it was into the email. After multiple attempts at narrowing the margins of my résumé as a word document I finally gave up and proceeded to copy my résumé one line at a time and paste each line in the body of the email, aligning it just so. If I don't get this job, I'm going to kill somebody. Not because it's a dream job but because merely sending my resume to them was such an enormous pain in the ass. I'd much rather go through a five hour grueling interview than ever have to recopy my resume like that again. Feel free to post a comment letting me know how simply I could have remedied this problem and avoided all of my aggravation. I could use a little salt in this wound.

Did I mention that instead of trying to write amusing things, this blog is now going to be an outlet for me to bitch and moan?

I wonder what kind of a reaction Jeopardy champ extraordinaire Ken Jennings gets when he asks a waiter at a restaurant "What is the Soup of the Day?" If I was waiting on him I would say: Correct, that brings us to our last clue which is French translations for $600. He'd probably be unamused and stiff me on my tip, but I would have the last laugh because I rubbed his spoon all over my cold sore before I served him his Minestrone.

Sometimes I like to go into a restaurant and ask the server for a slice of humble pie. Then when they say "we don't have that", I reply "then you just served me a slice." It's a great way to spend two minutes on a cold winter night.

On a keyboard, there is but a one key gap differentiating the typed word heroes from the typed word herpes. I know there was the whole obituary typo on Curb your Enthusiasm but c'mon who's gonna hit the c instead of the a when typing aunt? That’s completely unrealistic. I could see the heroes herpes mix-up happening easily though. Perhaps a nice human interest headline in the local paper such as: "Baby rescued by local herpes." I'm sorry, I never meant for this blog to feature hypothetical Jay Leno headline. Please forgive me. I’m going to hang my head in shame now.

Enjoy the weekend