Paging Dr. Freud

I think the expression "paging Dr. Freud" is so overused that the only way it's now amusing is if it's used in a completely unexpected context. If a co-worker tells you that she's going for a cup of coffee and asks you if you want anything, a really suggestive "paging Dr. Freud" is a great response to her offer. She won't know what you're insinuating but she will get really paranoid and possibly reveal something deeply personal along the lines of "are you suggesting that I drink coffee to cope with the fact that I've never connected with people the way I do with horses? Because that's preposterous."

Then you'll tell her that you were actually just messing around and meant nothing by it and she'll get really embarrassed and defensive and try to convince you that she knew you were kidding and that she was just joking too. Then she'll scurry off to her desk to hide her horse-a-day calendar.

Also I doubt if they had intercoms or pagers in Freud's day. Wouldn't calling Dr. Freud or sending Dr. Freud a telegram be a more historically accurate expression? Or are we paging Freud from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, who in 1989 could feasibly have had a pager?

Anyway, the whole reason I brought Freud up is that I'm seeking some dream analysis because my dream last night was a B-movie. It was about some troubled kid who had a bunch of anger after the death of his friend or brother or somebody, I never really got that part of it, but his grieving translated into a resentment of his father, who he doesn't think understands the tragedy of the situation. Initially I thought the father, who was played by a guy who looks like a mix of William H. Macy and Willem DaFoe, was a step-father and that the protagonist son, who's name was Bub, didn't like step-dad because his real father was the one who recently died. However, Bub called the father “dad” and I can't imagine he would do that if his real father recently died and his anger stemmed from the fact that this guy was trying to replace him. Bub also went to a denominational high school. Towards the end of the dream his parents drove to this lot near the school where, according to the headmaster, Bub was hanging out with a bad crowd until all hours of the night. Bub's defense was that the guys he was chilling until dusk with there were just "really cool guys" and that "blank would have loved them," blank being the crucial character who died who never really developed in the dream. That was basically it.

If anybody has one of those dream analysis books feel free to share with me what this one means.

Do you think it's a bad sign that instead of dreaming up great ideas for a joke or a show or something I might actually do, I dream plot-hole ridden B movies with distinct after school special potential?

I would be way more psyched if I had dreamt (one of the most awkward words in our language) a detailed episode of a hit sitcom that I could use as a spec script. Apparently my subconscious is trying to tell me to write crappy movies. That's discouraging.

Exree Hipp is in sole possession of second place in our league at 6-1. We're just a game back of undefeated Smoked U. Tonight we play the lone winless team in the league, Red States. I don't know if Red States are making a bold proclamation of their republican beliefs in this democrat-dominated city, or if they're trying to be ironic. Either way, one thing is clear: they must really suck at basketball. We've played some awful teams thus far in our league and Red States has lost to all of them. This would probably be a wise week for me to sit-out and let my pinky heal more, but I think instead I'll try to get a triple-double.

Here's hoping we all register a triple-double today, in the game of life.