Wakka Wakka Wakka

I want to a get the chinese symbol for unoriginal tattoed on my ankle.

There should not be bobblehead dolls of famous people who have Parkinson's disease.

A trophy is good but atrophy is bad. Sometimes you just need a little space.

Sweat pants sound pretty disgusting, but they're actually pretty great.

Sweat shorts also sound pretty awful, but they're actually incredibly awful.

If your name is Christopher is it okay to sign things X-opher, or is that too cocky?

I want to mail out a letter that says "save the date" on the envelope and everyone will think I'm getting married, but when you open it up it's actually a campaign to raise money in order to help preserve a historically significant dried date- you know, the sweet, edible, oblong or oval fruit of the date palm, containing a narrow, hard seed. That would be funny.