I'm so Evited... and I just can't stand it

(This is the aforementioned "hilarity" I couldn't post last night)I used to be pro-evites. I figured they provide an opportunity to see how a party is shaping up and they also offer a forum for brief but fun comments. But now that I’ve thought about them a little bit more I’ve decided that they are quite flawed- particularly when you are evited to an event that you do not wish to attend. In said instance, you’re left with four options. You could not reply, but then you prevent the organizer from being able to assess the probable turnout. Not cool. I used to be an evite ignorer when I didn’t know whether I was going to show up however, once an evite organizer sent out a follow up email after sending out an evite because very few evitees had replied and the organizer wanted to know if it was worth actually throwing the party. While I think it’s safe to assume that such widespread evite neglect means people weren’t planning to attend, I felt badly for the party thrower and vowed to try not to ignore future evites. Secondly and thirdly you could lie. You could reply that you can’t make it for an unspecified reason or you could say that you will be there even though you won’t. The unexplained “sorry I won’t be able to make it but I hope you have a great party!” may be the reply of choice in this situation, but it’s still dishonest. That’s why I’m suggesting the fourth option: brutal honesty. Reply: “I won’t be there because I don’t think it’s going to be fun. I don’t have plans for that day yet but I’m sure whatever I end up doing will be superior to your party. I don’t mean to be mean but I do resent the uncomfortable position you’ve put me in by sending me this evite and of all my options of how to handle this predicament I’ve settled on this. I hope that you and all the people that do attend have a good time though.” Or if brevity is more your style you could simply reply “not interested” Last night a friend of mine who had replied with an enthusiastic yes to an evite failed to attend the party. While it was an unintentional no-show it may have been the final straw as far as my evite tolerance is concerned. I don’t know what I’m going to do the next time I get evited to something, but I don’t imagine it’ll be pretty. And for anybody thinking “what about the maybe reply option?” maybes are for babies.

Certain groups of people embrace derogatory slang words that people use towards them in an effort to defuse the power behind the word or alter the meaning. I wonder if Rent-A-Cops do this. Do Rent-A-Cops refer to each other as rent-a-cops i.e. “What’s up Rent-A-Cop?” or “That’s my Rent-A-Cop!” If they don’t they should. I bet it would be really empowering.

A sign outside NYU's Tisch Hospital reads: Unnecessary Noise Prohibited
More information please. According to whose discretion? Under penalty of what? What are the boundaries demarcating this necessary noise only zone? That sign cannot effectively stand alone with no further explanation. It’s preposterous. Time for a long overdue shower. See you on the squeaky-clean flipside.