The Day After

February is more than halfway over. Can you believe it? If you wanna talk about short months the discussion begins and ends with February. It’s clearly the shortest of ‘em all, Leap Year or no Leap Year (especially no Leap Year.) It’s all good, February. Just because you got the short end of the calendar doesn’t mean you aren’t appreciated-particularly by casual black historians.

So I ended up getting Alison a plant. We named it Liam. He’s an echeveria of some sort. I couldn’t pinpoint the specific species on horticopia.com, but the good news is that all echeveria’s seem to be perennial and succulent as far as plant type is concerned, and if I’ve learned anything about plant types it’s that perennial succulents are the crème de la soil. Though admittedly, I’m not sure I’ve learned anything about plant types. People need not preface admissions with the word “admittedly.” It’s awfully redundant. We should stop doing that. I will if you guys will. When I decide to jazz up the blog with pictures, I’ll be sure to include a shot of me and Alison with Liam. I figure Liam will take good pictures being all photosynthetic and what have you. (I’ve got plant jokes for days.) Alison got me a snazzy pink shirt, which we're hoping I can pull off, and baked me a cake. Yellow cake with chocolate frosting- the winningest combo in cake history. So moist, so delicious. I love you. (That was to Alison and the cake.)

Some people have pop-up blockers on their computers that pop-up in the corner to let you know that a pop-up ad has been blocked during web-browsing. Well pop-up blocker, for somebody professing to be all anti-pop up you certainly seem to be embracing some defining characteristics of the pop up ads. Don’t think just because you do so down in the corner that you too aren’t popping up. I believe you have the inverse of Stockholm syndrome. You need help pop up ad blocker. I’ll try to see to it that you get some counseling. Maybe WebMD can hook you up with some help or perhaps you could ask Jeeves what to do. I bet that material would kill in an internet humor appreciation chat room. Not that I tested it out at www.yahoochatgroups.com/internethumorontheinternet.room113C or anything like that. Invitation only suckers!

Some people subscribe to the belief that a higher being judges your actions on earth to determine your fate after death. Other people subscribe to an agnostic point of view. As for me I just subscribe to Mad magazine. Actually that’s not even true. It’s really Time Out NY, but that would have been even less funny-if that is at all possible. Before the first sentence was revealed to be an unsuspecting pawn in a horrible pun, I bet some of you were thinking…whoa, drastic serious mood swing. Or, I’m completely transparent and as soon as you read the word subscribe you braced yourself for an awful magazine joke. Either way, I’m all about eliciting emotional responses.

I realize many of you have been waiting with bated breath to hear how Exree Hipp fared last Thursday against winless Red States. It is with a sour taste in my mouth that I report that we won via forfeit. The forfeit is a wholly unsatisfying way to “win.” I think the League website puts it best when they say in fine print at the bottom of the division standings page “Forfeits Stink.” ‘Nuf said. Be that as it may, add another tally to our win column and call us 7-1. Tonight we play Jacques Around the Block. I don’t even know where to begin with that name. My first fear is that the play on words they’re going for has something to do with rocking around the clock- and we all know how intimidating references from songs of the late 1950’s are. If there is one dude on the team named Jacques and everyone agreed it was cool to name the team after him, then I feel like there is some cult-like questionable admiration of this one player, and thus our #1 key to the game should be: Get Jacques in foul trouble. I’ll definitely have to ask somebody to explain the name to me.

Enjoy your local 50 degree weather.