Chipotle Bizarro World

Check out this conversation I had today while I stood in line at Chipotle*

Random Customer: Do you do stand up comedy?

Me: (confused) Uh, yeah?

Random Customer: Do you have any shows coming up?

Me: Actually, yes, but how did you…

Random Customer: (excitedly interrupting) You do!?! Where is it and when?

Me: I'm doing the $1 Room at the Telephone Bar on Thursday...but wait a second, have we met before or something?

Random Customer: You mean the $1 Room at the Telephone Bar which is located at 149 Second Ave. between 9th and 10th streets and that starts every Thursday at 9pm?

Me: Dude, you're totally freaking me out right now, but yes I believe that information is accurate.

Random Customer: Be that as it may, is the $1 Room still hosted by Brad Steuernagel, Peter Kassnove and Cassidy Henehan?

Me: What's your deal? I mean yeah, those guys host the show, but how do you know so much about the $1 Room, how did you recognize me? Who are you?

Random Customer: If you tell me who else is performing with you at the $1 room Thursday I'll answer all of your questions.

Me: That's ridiculous.

Random Customer: Suit yourself. I'm outta here.

Me: Wait, wait. Fine, Jon Friedman, Jackie Cohen and Andrea Rosen are also performing this Thursday.

Random Customer: So what you're trying to tell me is that this Thursday, March 24th at 9pm at the $1 Room at the Telephone Bar and Grill, located at 149 Second Ave. between 9th and 10th streets hosts Brad Steurnagel, Peter Kassnove and Cassidy Henehan welcome you- Adam Cole-Kelly, Jon Friedman, Jackie Cohen and Andrea Rosen for their St. Patrick’s Day Hang Over Show?

Me: What are you an advertisement for them or something? Are you a friend of Brad’s? I forgot about the St. Patty’s hangover aspect. So out with it, what gives who are you?

Random Customer: I think you know exactly who I am?

Me: What are you talking about?

Random Customer: C’mon man, you really think you’re fooling anybody?

Me: What do you mean?

Random Customer: Maybe this will make things clear:

Random Customer/Me: Get it now?

Me: You mean you’re just a fictional prop I used in a mildly creative post that I took way too far?

Random Cutomer; In a lame attempt to plug your show for Thursday that actually makes it much harder for anyone reading this to glean the necessary information about where and when the show is.

Me: Oh well. What’s done is done.

Random Customer: This line is taking forever, huh?

Me: I guess in this fictional scenario yes, but actually Chipotle is a well-oiled machine both taking and making orders with impressive efficiency and accuracy.

Random Customer: What did the asterisk in the beginning of this post denote?

Me: I wanted to go on record apologizing for previously not giving Chipotle its due credit. It’s actually quite the lunch option- delicious, filling, affordable, not to mention reasonably healthy so far as I can tell.

Random Customer: What did we eat today?

Me: A chicken fajita burrito with corn and hot salsa.

Random Customer: I think it’s time to pull the plug on this conversation.

Me: I won’t make a Terry Schiavo joke.

Random Customer: Admirable restraint. Enjoy the Burrito.

Me: Thanks.

Trippy conversation huh? Hope you guys had solid Tuesdays.