Too Many Sharks

It's still Monday, so I technically squeezed in a post today. Phew. If any of you guys watched college basketball this weekend you no doubt viewed previews for the CBS made for tv movie Spring Break Shark Attack. I didn't catch the event when it aired last night, but boy those ads were something else. I don't think I'm overstating things when I say that the scene when 50 some odd shark fins are all visible through the two binocular lenses might be the most preposterous image in made for television film history. I am dying to know how the movie explained such an unrealistically dense population of angry sharks. My curiousity got the best of me and I just read a preview of the movie from the CBS website. Apparently the brother of the protragonist is doing a thesis on tiger sharks at the Florida Maritime Institute. He cautioned his sister to stay out of the water because a new artificial reef installed to attract tourists has also brought a great number of sharks into the area. Like I wrote, I didn't see the movie, but something tells me Danielle doesn't heed her brothers advice. The only way I would buy that premise is if the reef was revealed to have been mistakenly made of Shark Crack or a like material-though I tend to think Shark Crack is as enticing as it gets if you are a shark. Did anyone watch? Were there scenes in the movie more absurd than those captured in the preview?

I've decided that one of the shittier things a person can experience has got to be phantom pain. Amputation must be awful enough in its own right. But to suffer pain in your non-existent limb after the fact? That seems an inconceivably cruel fate. That would be like one of those twins on G.I. Joe who felt one another's pain still getting an ice cream headache from his dead brother. The worst would be awaking to phantom pain because I bet instinctually you would go to shake or rub or scratch the area from which the pain is stemming only you would not be able to do so. I hope none of you ever experience phantom pain. I mean it. Pain doesn't seem so bad when compared to phantom pain. Next time you stub your toe and you're getting ready to blurt out "curses!" just be glad it's real pain rather than the phantom variety.

I am pleased that the University of Wisconsin-Madison is still contending for the National Collegiate Athletic Association basketball championship.

I am going to go to sleep now, but I'll dream about all of you guys, even you anonymous.