WEEKEND AWARDS

Funniest comment issued by a homeless man to me: “C’mon man, don’t you want to contribute to the United Negro Pizza Fund?” Unfortunately for him it ended up only being worth a laugh.

Funniest awkward moment between news anchors on the local weekend NBC news: After showing footage of a polo match in which Prince Harry fell off his horse but was not injured the female anchor said “That’s a dangerous sport. That’s how Christopher Reeves got injured, right?” To which the male anchor responded as politely as possible “I know there was a horse involved.” Realizing her error, the female anchor admitted ‘I wasn’t quite sure if it was that exact sport.” All the male anchor could muster in conclusion was a tight-lipped head nod- but his expression clearly stated: “I can’t believe I work with such a stupid (choose your offensive term for woman here)”

Most awful, fatigue perceptive, self-congratulatory, bald curmudgeon of a college basketball analyst ever to waddle the earth: Billy Packer (a co-worker of mine who’s worked for him says he's a good guy in person. If that’s true I’d suggest he lose the loathsome on camera persona.)

Most delightful, insightful, inventive linguist of an in studio college basketball analyst: Clark Kellogg. Love ya, Clark.

Sport with which I am currently obsessed and will likely be consumed by for the next three weeks: Badminton (gotcha!)

Funniest Sketch on SNL: Noony and Nuni. I hear it’s recurring and I can’t vouch for other installments, nor am I certain it would be funny a second time, but this week it was priceless. Striking my funny bone with particular deftness: Maya Rudolph’s initial attempt to pronounce Heather as “Bowser”. I'm fully aware that probably nobody reading this saw the sketch therefore eliminating your potential to appreciate my vague recap whatsoever.

Biggest Regret: Zero milkshakes consumed

Most surprising losing poker hand: five queens. Lost to five aces in every poker purist’s favorite game guts-kings & low card wild.

P.S. I chose whore