Nothing To Grin About

I woke up this morning wondering how the expression "shit-eating grin" came to be. I have seen a handful of people eat shit in my day, but never have they done so with a smile upon their face. Quite the contrary in fact. It seems that most people find shit-eating to be painfully unpleasant. More often than not, consumption of shit leads to excessive vomiting-which is hardly conducive to showing off those pearly whites. Maybe the expression originated as "cupcake eating grin" and somewhere along the line shit supplanted cupcake. (Jit is Icelandic for cupcake, so maybe there was a translation mishap involving a tourist from Iceland) Or maybe, initially the expression was shit eating cringe and somebody who appreciated irony slid grin in there and then somebody without an appreciation of irony took the doctored expression at face value and passed it along as such. Either way it seems evident to me that somewhere along the line there was a mix-up. I refuse to believe that shit-eating grin has always been shit-eating grin. Furthermore, it seems as though there is at times an association with getting away with something when one sports a shit-eating grin and I think it's safe to say that when one eats shit it is readily detectable by anyone within a thirty foot radius and thus seldom gotten away with.

Here's a question about witches: Can they only fly on brooms, or would a mop do the trick? Are there particular properties inherent to the broomsticks that lend themselves to flight? How about a rake or a shovel? Or, if it must be a product specifically for indoor cleanliness/maintenance could a very small witch make do with a plunger? I realize that might be slightly embarrassing for her, but if she was in a jam and couldn't find her broom could she make it happen? Do you think witches who fly on plungers or wooden tennis rackets have stickers on their plungers/rackets that say, "My other flying apparatus is a broom?" I guess that turned out to be many questions about witches rather than a question. Any witches out there feel free to answer my questions and clarify the situation for the curious masses. You might want to make your post anonymously though, you know, so you don't get burned at the stake.

Here's hoping all of you are on the hunting rather than the hunted side of the witch-hunt we call life.

Holy shit, that was dark, huh?

I'm just kidding, I don't view life as one giant witch-hunt. I see it more as a county fair.

Here's hoping all of you win the enormous stuffed animal at the ball toss at the county fair we call life.

That's a much better image to bring with you into the weekend.