I require a haircut

I find it's difficult to find the middle ground between barbers who give you the haircut they want to give you regardless of what you ask for and barbers who ask you too many questions and can't make a decision on their own. Is it asking that much to find somebody who can work from a vague instruction like "I want it fairy short, not too short, but definitely noticeably shorter, and even all around, not longer on top than on the sides?" The old school barbers tend to do whatever they want. If you ask them not to take too much off the sides, it doesn't matter "trust me, it looks better this way." Thanks but I fear that your concept of what looks good might be slightly outdated and/or European, kind sir. I read an article in GQ once that said that guys should get their hair cut by guys. Ever since reading that article I've tried to live by that rule.

Speaking of GQ, the current issue features Jessica Alba on the cover. I'm not usually into fawning over pictures of women in magazines and what have you but let's just say that I think Jessica is pretty and the photos of her on the cover and in the article just about made my bowels rumble-in a good way.

Here's a question New York City: You call this spring?

Here's another question: how much do sagging t-shirt collars suck?

Did I mention I have this show tomorrow night at the Telephone Bar at 149 2nd Ave. between 9th and 10th streets at 9pm that only costs $1-hence inspiring the name of the room. Well you should check it out if you can.

Also our basketball team Exree Hipp is in the playoffs. We look to avenge our lone loss of the season against The Mystery Machine. The only mystery is how many points we're going to beat them by. Ha! Ooh, ooh, scuzzed them!

Make this Wednesday evening your very own.