Forgotten But Not Gone

This weekend I learned a couple of key red flag signals when it comes to searching for an apartment with a broker. For instance, if your broker has lived in the United States for less than two weeks, he probably isn't going to be an expert on "what's out there." If your broker carries a Manhattan street map in order to figure out how to get to hard to find streets the likes of Mulberry and Avenue C, he might not be the most useful resource for your apartment hunt. If your broker admits that he's been on the job a mere 6 days and he's really a movie sound technician looking for work, take comments like "trust me guys you're not going to find anything better out there for this price," with many grains of salt.

At Alison's seder two Saturday's ago we forgot to look for the afikomen. I just remembered that today and Alison confirmed that it's still hidden in her apartment. Yummy! Isn't it such sweet satisfaction when you arrive at the portion of the post that explains today's title? Feel free to let out those sighs of contentment. (Be careful though, as I accidentally simultaneously farted when I let mine out.)

Care to hear my two latest product ideas? They're protected items of intellectual property so if you try to steal them I will take you for everything you're worth.

The first is a brand of gum called My Last Piece. That way when people ask you for a piece you can tell them "it's my last piece" and you get to savor the delicious pack all to yourself. Frequent gum carriers ought to appreciate this anti-mooch wordplay device.

The second is a t-shirt that reads "Customers Should Too." These are going to be all the rage. The shirts represent a response to the signs posted in nearly every bathroom anywhere food is served that read: "Employees must wash hands."

If you want to be one of the first to sport this sure to be trendy t-shirt, post a comment and place your t-shirt order. They're going to cost $12. Unless, you order a XXXXL, in which case I'll only charge you $10 because I feel bad that you probably have a very difficult time finding t-shirts to fit your enormous torso.

The next time you are using public transportation, or you're sitting in a waiting room, or you're riding on an airplane, I think you should try to engage somebody your age or older in a friendly game of peak-a-boo. Initially they will probably look around to see if there is a baby behind them or nearby, but just keep doing it. Eventually they'll realize they are the target of your face hiding and revealing and they'll either be overcome with nostalgic joy or creeped the fuck out. Remember though, the only stupid risks are the one's you don't take playing peak-a-boo with adults.

I see all of you!