H2Old

The metro transit authority (MTA to friends and family) of New York City plasters the walls of their subway cars with their own posters. Many of these feature self-promotional slogans and tidbits about the public transportation system. They are all part of a series called “Subtalk.” Recently I noticed one celebrating the monthly pass metro card. It read: “The 30-day unlimited metro card. The more times you ride, the less you pay.” No, actually it always costs $76. Whether I use it thrice daily or never swipe it through a turnstile before it expires, still I’m 76 bucks poorer as a result of that purchase. I don’t necessarily speak fluent subtalk, but in English that’s what we call a blatant lie.

That’s what I call an elaborate set up for minimal pay off. It’s somewhat of an unorthodox approach to comedy writing, but I think disappointing the audience serves a very specific purpose-chiefly it makes them disappointed.

The city of New York is currently building New York City water tunnel No. 3- we can only hope that the engineers are as inspired in their work as the powers that be were when they named the tunnel. Anyway the tunnel which is going to stretch 60 miles upon its 2020 expected completion is being built so that water tunnels No. 1 and No. 2- the suppliers of all the city’s water-can be inspected and repaired for the first time since they were built in 1917 and 1936 respectively. Come again? So in the unlikely event that everything goes according to schedule the two water manes supplying NYC’s highly regarded tap water will have not been inspected let alone repaired for 103 and 84 years. I’d like to think there have been advancements in water maintenance, cleanliness what have you. in the past 75 years or so. It wouldn’t surprise me if in the 1920’s asbestos was thought to be an ideal pipe insulator. I think I’m going to start drinking more Poland Spring. That’s a plug, you cheap Maine-y bastards, now send me a case.

Huge congratulations go out to dedicated reader and new groom Mr. Fu and the lovely Mrs. Fu-Style. Beautiful wedding, beautiful couple, beauty all around us. Congratulations and happy marriage to you both.

Thanks for chilling out weather.