April Fools-Yawn.

It's April Fools Day. People are going to pull pranks. Don't believe anything that sounds suspicious etc. etc. etc. Frankly I think the whole thing is kind of tired. That being said, it's Friday,which is always a bonus. Oh yeah, and I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you- I won 33 kabajillion dollars in the New York State lottery!!!!! How awesome is that? I walked into work today and said "make me the host of this stupid pilot or I quit," and my bosses hesitated for a split second and I said, "times up, so up yours!' Then I gave them a double bird flip and marched right out of the offices. I bet your waiting on a big April Fools right about now, huh? You want it, you can have it...April Fools! Guess what...April Fools about it being an April Fools suckers! What do you think of me now? Actually I don't care what you think of me because I can buy your opinions with the novelty size check I recieved made out to me for the modest amount of Thirty-three ka-ba-jillion smackers! Count 'em up. That's a nice chunk a change if I do say so myself and it's mine all mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Okay, I didn't really win $33 Kabajill in the New York State Lottery. Truth be told… I won 57 Zagzillion bucks in the Western Hemisphere Pick 4. 8-3-7-2, read it and weep peasants. Those were my digits, baby! I feel sorry for whoever has to live off their measly $33 kabajillion handout from the New York State lottery. Don't spend it all at once- and I mean that ironically, like when somebody gives you a dollar and says that, because sitting atop my 57 zagzillion mound of dough there isn't much of a difference between 1 dollar and 33 kabajillion of them. You know what I'm going to butter my bagel with tomorrow: tricked ya, I'm not going to eat that kind of street filth. It's caviar and truffle golden goose egg-white omelettes with platinum syrup from here on out for breakfast. (Then a slim fast shake for lunch and a sensible dinner) It is good to be me.

Here is something from the news and my take on it:
A 33 year-old mother of five in Tennessee just sold her name online to an internet gambling site for $15,000 in order to help send her daughter to the same golf school that Tiger Woods attended. Once legal work is complete the woman’s name will officially be changed to goldenpalace.com. Goldenpalace.com. You wanna talk about the weight of the world on a kid’s shoulders. That daughter better revolutionize women’s golf. Can’t you just see mom cursing her daughter out after every bogey? You uncoordinated whore! I have a dot in my fucking signature. I didn’t flagrantly disrespect my father and shame his entire family for you to miss that put you ungrateful little shit.

Have an exquisite final four weekend.

Love Adam