Putting the Boston in the I just got back from a weekend in Boston

Happy belated father’s day to all you baby’s daddies out there.

Here are some idears I had over the weekend while visiting Boston.

1. I should start a funny plunger business. Imagine how well Yankees plungers would sell in Boston, where toilet-clogging Red Sox fans could rejoice as they made the Yankees eat shit. The possibilities are endless. You could personalize a plunger with a picture of anybody and then anytime you had the misfortune of clogging your toilet you’d have the pleasant distraction of dunking your enemy in doo-doo to temper the disgusting nature of the task at hand.

2. When you come up with a brilliant idea like personalized plungers, you should take whatever steps necessary to explore the feasibility of such a business venture rather than presenting it on a blog where anybody can read it and steal it.

3. When traveling between New York and Boston if you have the choice of taking the bus or the train, realize that there is no choice. The train is the only way to travel. But isn’t the train significantly more expensive than the bus? Yes, but in any circumstance imaginable the difference is worth it. I don’t care if you’ve been collecting money in New York so that you can pay for your spouse’s time-sensitive, potentially life saving operation and you only have enough extra money to take the bus. You keep collecting until you have enough for that train dammit. If your spouse doesn’t understand than the ungrateful whorebastard doesn’t deserve to live anyway.

4. Every once in a while unnecessarily breaking up your blog post into numbered points makes for a welcome change of aesthetic pace.

5. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, I swear you were using a different can of nuts the first two times. I don’t remember it being yellow. No, I agree the snakes were the same, I just could’ve sworn the first two cans were like a blueish color. Well I’ll be.

6. No matter how many hours you debate how many Dunkin Donuts munchinks equal one donut, you’ll never truly care enough to stop into a store and inquire.

7. I’ll open my stand-up set at the Comedy Studio in Cambridge on Saturday night by wishing my dad a happy father’s day. Then I’ll offer him a heartfelt thank you saying “thanks for banging mom back in ’79.”

Ignore all the “this is the week the jherri-curl makes a glorious comeback” whispers you might hear. I promise they’re unfounded.