The White Glove But The Wrong Idea

Apparently the jury has reached a decision in the Michael Jackson trial and now we must await the announcement with bated breath. I think Certs should make bated a breathmint flavor. It would be a sweetish minty flavor with a hint of fruitiness-either that or butterscotch.

I'm not sure if this was the prosecution's closing statement in the Jackson trial, but it should have been:

"Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, I leave you with this, which I believe explains a central flaw in Mr. Jackson's logic and subsequent behavior: A gloved hand does not a proctologist make. I repeat, a gloved hand does not a procotologist make." (The second time would be spoken in a very deliberate, dramatic tone and would undoubtedly hammer home the certainty of his guilt.)

Caught a minute of Good Will Hunting yesterday. My question is this: After Will dazzles Minnie Driver with his humiliation of the pompous grad student, why is she not totally turned off by his "or we could eat a bunch of caramels" response to her "Maybe we could get a cup of coffee sometime" offer? When his caramel comment confuses her, he explains "think about it, it's just as arbitrary." I think at that point she would screen his phone calls and theretofore refer to him as caramel boy to her friends. And while admittedly, such a plot twist might have derailed the main storyline of the movie, sometimes you have to sacrifice plot development in favor of realistic reactions to bizzare caramel related responses to coffee offers. I mean look well that philosophy worked in the Godfather films.

Friday afternoon I cleaned my room. While cleaning I found a piece of paper with the phone number of a bartender I met over a year ago. His roomates father knew some people in the comedy world and I thought it could be a worthwhile connection to pursue. Then, as wild coincidence would have it Friday night I ran into this very bartender working at a different bar than the one at which I had met him more than a year ago. We both recognized each other but it took us a second to place one another. Then he took a stab at my name: "Jeff, right?" The funny thing was I had just thrown away the piece of paper with his name and number on it earlier that day and I could have sworn his name was Jeff. I replied "actually, it's Adam. But wait, isn't your name.." to which he interrupted "Yeah, I'm Jeff." Hmmmm? That's quite strange. When it doubt just guess that people whose names you can't remember have your name? I regret that I reminded him that we met when he worked at Tribe because I would have been interested to see if he had asked me: "didn't we meet when you were a bartender at Tribe?" Perhaps he has some rare disorder where any fuzzy memories of his related to other people get filled with memories of himself as those other people. That would be fascinating. The important thing though is that he gave me a couple of free beers. Thanks Adam. (Looks like it's contagious!)

Make sure to start this week off by putting your best foot forward. If you don't know which is your best foot just jump forward with both feet together until you hurt one of your feet from all that jumping and then put the non-injured foot forward because at least for now that one is probably your best one.