Raising Funds or Raising Hell

Sometimes on the streets and even more frequently on the subway in New York there are kids trying to sell candy bars to “raise money for their basketball team.” Many of the kids selling these candy bars (usually brilliantly selected peanut m&m’s) look too old to be playing youth basketball or don’t exactly look like ballplayers. Point being it’s often questionable that the money being raised is actually for a basketball team. Picking up on the skepticism of the masses a new generation of subway candy sellers has emerged. These kids are straight shooters. When they speak to the crowded cars full of commuters they keep it real: “I’m not selling this for any basketball team or anything, I’m just trying to make a little money to keep in my pocket to keep me off the streets from hustling.” Is it profitable for these new school entrepreneurs to call-out their rival “basketball team fund-raisers?” Should people feel more compelled to buy a pack of peanut m&m’s at upwards of 200% store value because at least these kids are being honest about the fact that they’re not doing this for any cause other than to raise some money to keep them out of trouble? Is it possible that these kids who are trying to invalidate the time honored basketball team routine are players who got cut from their youth basketball teams and are consequently not only stealing their team’s fund raising technique but also trying to cast a cloud of suspicion over their team’s legitimacy? I guess it just seems funny to me that there are these two groups of people trying to do the exact same thing as a means to raise money and that one group goes out of their way to call into question the authenticity of the other. Maybe I wouldn’t be as surprised if I’d read Adam Smith’s 'A Wealth Of Nations' more closely, particularly the chapter on subway candy selling ethics.

Upon re-reading that paragraph it is way less funny than it is though provoking and it’s not even that though provoking. That’s okay, at the dinner table tonight-since most of the people who read this sit down to family meals every night-I encourage you to discuss from which group you would be more likely to purchase peanut m&m’s. Diffusing awkward mealtime silence one juicy discussion topic at a time. If I had to come up with a slogan for my blog today, that would have been it.

So Michael Jackson got off yesterday-poor choice of words. I’m proud to be the first person to have ever made that joke just now. I heard he had a big party to celebrate his acquittal… a slumber party that is. That’s not right, to be fair I feel a bit badly for Jackson because even though he won, when you face child molestation charges… again, regardless of whether you win or lose, you pretty much lose.

I think more people should go the Cedric the Entertainer route and return to the days when one’s name indicated their profession. If nothing else it would make for much better local news promos. The most trusted team in news: Joan the Female-anchor and Bob the Male-anchor, Don the Weatherman with the weather and Tony the Sports Guy on sports.

Signing off, I’m Adam the Straw Grabber