Status Whoa!

Happy new week. So when last I wrote I mentioned that The Rejection Show got nominated for an Emerging Comics of New York award for best comedy/variety show. Well holy hypocrisy, we won! It’s been a whirlwind of crazy parties, unprecedented access to the cities most exclusive clubs and restaurants and lavish after-hour gatherings in hotel suites. Who knew how much clout carrying around an ECNY would have? How many times in a weekend can I tell the Olsen twins I’m not interested? Seriously you two, take a hint. I was thrilled to take in sunrise after sunrise from various penthouse roof-decks with my Rejection Show brethren Matt Diffee and Jon Friedman. Rich Zeroth also got in on the non-stop action thanks to his ECNY for his one-man show, Swollen Head. And when I find out which one of you sons of bitches stole the copious amount of designer drugs I accumulated this weekend, I’m going to get you. By the by, I’ll swing by and pick you guys up in the Stretch Hummer tonight en route to our VIP area table at PRONE. Can you say “Shaq and Paris’s annual Wimbledon quarterfinals blowout bash?” Don’t forget to bring your ECNY’s.


If I had to choose a problem to have it would probably be dry contacts because I think I would take a lot of comfort in solution being the solution.

This Thursday I am part of a star-studded line-up at a hilarious comedy/variety show called The Hot Tub. Here is information about the show:

HOT TUB a wet jubilee, hosted by Kurt Braunoler and Kristen Schaal
Thursday, June 30th, 10 pm
The PIT , 154 W. 29th St. Between 6th and 7th Ave


Here are the other people besides me that you will get to enjoy if you come:

Todd Barry is a hilarious stand-up comedian who headlines across the country. I guarantee he will make you laugh out loud on multiple occasions during his set.

Paul Scheer of VH1 Best-week Ever fame brings high comic energy and an outrageously inventive act every time he takes the stage.

Jason Jones does not have a web-site but he was the host of a show called Craft Corner Death Match. Only the most religious readers of this blog might recall a post back in January when I worked one day at Craft Corner Death Match. My role? You guessed it, stand-in for host Jason Jones. Expect the tension between us to be palpable.

Miss Ruby Valentine is a classic burlesque dancer. I’ve never been involved in a show that included both joke telling and burlesque dancing but I’ll be glad to not be able to say that come Thursday night. I imagine following Miss Ruby Valentine might be difficult but make no mistake, I’ll perform naked if need be to avoid being upstaged.

And co-host Kristen Schaal? Forget about it, she’s so funny she deteriorates your memory. As for Kurt, well I’ve never seen him perform, but if you don’t count the hyphen, which you shouldn’t because it’s clearly not a letter, then Kurt and I both have nine-letter last names and I think we all know how that translates to the stage.

I’ve promised myself to unveil at least one super gut-busting, brand spanking new, previously-unheard-in the-history-of-the-spoken-word joke for Thursday, so don’t miss out on that.

See you later incubator (baby who survives premature birth without any future medical complications)

Now you say: In a while pedophile (who has reformed his ways and is a productive member of society and feels horribly for past actions but can’t seem to shake the label)

But it’s cool to pick on those reptiles? Think about it.