Needless Complications

Hi. I'm about to write a little tidbit about friendster, I'm not going to explain what it is so if you don't know feel free to do some research on your own and then come back and continue reading. Your welcome for my permission to do so.

So when you create your friendster profile one of the options for status (in addition to single, in a relationship, domestic partnership and married) is "it's complicated." Even if your relationship status doesn't fit neatly into one of the other options, is an internet community like friendster really the type of forum to stamp yourself as somebody with relationship issues. I can't imagine anybody looks at a person's profile, see's that the person has selected "it's complicated" and says "hey, of all these random people here to try to forge a relationship of some sort with why don't I pursue this person who's made it clear that his/her most intimate relationship is really messy. "

Why even have that as an option friendster? Nobody wants to know about difficult relationship situations in this arena right off the bat. While your at it Friendster, next to the favorite books, tv shows and movie sections in your profiles why not add a most scarring childhood experience that still plagues you to this day section?

Okay, I'm done scolding you friendster, you're overwhelmingly a positive figure in my life, I just think it's silly that anybody would ever announce on their profile that their relationship is complicated, but that probably intrigues some other people because let's face it people are twisted.

From now on when anybody asks me a question that can be answered in percentages I'm going to give very specific breakdowns. For example, if inquiring minds wanted to know:

"Hey Adam, what do you think the chances are that you are going to end up going to DC in two weekends?"

I would say

"72-28, maybe 74-26 if the forecast is favorable." People only seem comfortable quantifying the chances they will do something when it's a complete toss up, 50-50 if you will, but I think it's time to start quantifying more situations and doing so with unbelieveable precision. When somebody asks you a question that can be answered in percentage chances don't just blurt out random figures, hold up a finger to let them know you need a second then use your finger in the air with your eyes closed as if you are calculating a complicated problem. Finally arrive at a total that isn't rounde to the nearest 5 or 10, hell don't even have it add up to 100. Do I think I'm going to go out tonight? It's possible, I'd say I'm about 63-51 in favor right now.

Well I think it's safe to say we're all dumber for having read that nonsense. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got all sorts of really important things to do now.

Until another day in Black History Month,

Adam