Saddle Settle-in

Here it is everyone, my highly anticipated second blog entry during Black History Month. Quick side note- what do you think is the minimum acceptable number of people you can address with the word everyone? Can you say "listen up everyone," when you are trying to get the attention of three people? Five? I suppose a boisterous five (six if you include yourself) could warrant an "everyone." I guess this turned out to be more of a side note than a quick side note depending on your reading speed.

Speaking of reading speed, I'm somewhat of a slow reader and I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't always create a cool breeze with my page turning quickness. That being said, how much did it suck back when we were in school when your teacher would have you read a short story or an article or something at the beginning of class and then start the discussion of the assigned reading when you weren't even halfway finished? I could deal with being clueless about a discussion in class when it had to do with reading I chose not to do (and deal with it I often did) but it's a whole different situation when you're getting punished just because you don't read as fast as Dr. Bookworm T. Speedreader thinks his or her students should be able to read. Some teachers thought they were considering all of their students in these situations by asking the class aloud "How are we doing, are we almost done?" At which point slow reading bastards such as myself had to decide how shamefully behind the average pace they were and whether or not it would be humiliating to admit that you aren't (even close to) finished yet. If a courageous slow poke did speak up, most teachers would take this as a cue to wait an additional thirty seconds before commencing the discussion. I guess teachers are instinctively paranoid and assume that their students are constantly trying to waste valuable class time, but on behalf of all slow readers I must say we don't appreciate the public reading race to start off the class. Any teachers reading this please adjust your lesson plans accordingly.

So February is a short month huh? I think landlords ought to give all tenants at least a $20 discount on rent in February. The difference between 30 and 31 days in a month is negligible but 28? That's an insult to the institution of months. So how about sliding a crispy Andrew Jackson underneath all the doors, Vicente? What do you say?

Speaking of crispy Andrew Jackson's I think breaking a twenty is much, much easier than people would like to believe. How often do you go out to a meal with a group of friends and the bill works out to something like $13 per person (a reasonable breakfast) and somebody inevitably says "I've got $9 or Twenties," hoping or expecting that the nine bucks will suffice. Let's see, you can put in four bucks less than you owe or suffer the burden of breaking a sacred twenty. Hmm, that's a tough call, but I'm going to have to say use the twenty, every single time.

I think the reluctance to break the twenty is difficult to overcome but I think that societially, if we work on it, we might enjoy more equitable bill divisions at the delicious meal known as life.

Some people enjoy a good tongue twister. In fact one year and eleven days ago I made up my own tongue twister on this very blog. It's: What's a synonym for cinnamon?
Stupid because there are no synonyms for cinnamon? Indeed. Nonetheless decent as far as tongue twisters go? Also true.

Some of you may not like tongue twisters so I've decided to write a couple of tongue uncoilers. They're like tongue twisters except there is nothing difficult whatsoever about rapidly repeating them several times. Check 'em out:

1. Both of those cupcakes are mine.

2. What do you mean the banister is not for sale?

3. Give that cougar its moustache back!


Could those have been any easier? Enjoy what remains of February and take March like a man regardless of your gender.