Look! A picture!

What's up Hyphenatics? Can you believe it, I'm finally sprucing up the blog with a picture. Now the scores of regular readers who've never met me finally get to see what I look like...dressed up like an idiot on Halloween.

I'm sure my costume requires no explanation, but in case you aren't up on things, I was MC Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds. I actually performed on Monday night at a Halloween themed stand up show as MC Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds. This is the rhyme I spat:

I'm bout to take all these non-believers to they churches
You better save your motha' fuckin' proofs of purchase

Hey yo I'm MC Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds
Get my CD- you can buy it in installments
I'm not the type of dude that you should mess with
Cause I'm part of a com-plete balanced breakfast
Check how I rip it with my iced out box of cereal
My flow will burn you like a disease that's venereal
MC's can't see me as if it's crazy foggy
Go cop my album before that shit gets soggy- what.

MC Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds breaking you off a spoonful of my rhymes.

So the glare you see in the picture is probably on account of how iced out the box of cereal is-a result of my arts and craft handywork with some glitter glue.

Also I'm not sure how well you can see this in the picture, but Chief Wahoo has an iced out grill on my hat. That is how the hat came. Pretty sweet, huh?

In the picture I'm with some of the members of my entourage. It's a pretty intimidating looking group but they aren't as tough as they look. Next to me in an old school tennis get up is BA. Unfortunately for all of us, the picture is cropped such that we don't get to see his extra short shorts and bulging thigh muscles. Next to BA is Alyson aka superman-woman/girl. Next to Alyson is my Alison, donning the postal employee costume and next to her is Geller sporting the incredible Kim Jong il ensemble.

What were you guys for halloween?

That sounds fun.

Anyway, here are some jokes I wrote that I would like to share with you. Between your mildly amused smirks keep in mind that at the time these were written they couldn't have been more topical. Enjoy.

It was reported that Warner Brothers promised artificial limbs to 27 teenage and child amputees used as extras in the new movie "Blood Diamonds," but reneged on their promise so the money could be used to promote the movie. This story has the entire amputee community up in arm.

This past weekend hundreds of people in Wisconsin attended a symbolic funeral at a local cemetery to lay to rest the "N-word.” However, there’s been some controversy over the message engraved on the headstone: Die Nigger Die!

Earlier this week a 3 year old Wisconsin boy got trapped in the stuffed animal cube of a vending machine after squeezing himself through a small hole. Rescue workers are doing everything they can to get him out, but you know how impossible those metal crane grabbers can be.

A company called Eternal Image is launching a new venture with Major League Baseball that will allow fans to have the logos of their favorite teams placed on their urns and coffins. Finally, choking-victims can receive a proper burial in an official New York Yankees casket. (take that Yankees)

This Tuesday the US population hit 300 million. While census officials say they aren’t sure who the record setter is, they suspect a Kentucky baby who was born amidst a shower of vaginal confetti.

An article in the latest Journal of the American Medical Association reveals that tongue piercing can cause an excruciating nerve disorder sometimes called suicide disease because of the pain it causes. With a growing number of medical complications associated with tongue piercings many teenage girls are now considering new ways to advertise that they’re sluts.

According to an article in the latest issue of the journal Science, all of the major Hawaiian Islands are sinking and will be completely underwater in 80 million years. So if you want to vacation there, make sure to book that flight within the next 79 million years.

Thanks for stopping by and make sure you have yourself a stellar Thursday.